HALP! The Cat is Humping Me!

Humping Ahead - Cat is Humping

This is slightly embarrassing. My cat is humping me. 

That’s right, I’m being stalked in my own home. It seems every time I sit down, there he is. Waiting. It always starts off innocently, I get just get comfortable and the cute little kitty comes along with his cute little face and his cute little purrs. I give him a little scratch behind the ears, he starts with the cute little kneading, he settles in and then next minute my cat is humping me. Not the sweet love-making kind of humping either, he likes it rough. Teeth and claws and manic thrusting. It hurts me and I feel a bit violated, but we’re not here to talk about my problems.

Sparrow Sperm Toy - My Cat is Humping Me

Sparrow is pretty nice for a cat. He’s never bitten, scratched or so much as swiped at anyone. He doesn’t attack people and apart from the usual kitteny bouncing around he’s pretty chill, so this violence is out of character. He was also neutered pretty young, which you’d think would make a difference. Apparently not.

 

No Kitty Shaming!

This may be an uncomfortable subject and I’m not sure if I need to change the rating on this post, but let’s be honest. Masturbation feels good. It’s perfectly normal and it really doesn’t hurt anybody (unless it does, in which case you might want to change your approach). Yes, even neutered people…I mean cats…get pleasure from a bit of lighthearted fapping, and why not? Although humping in cats is not usually a sexual behaviour, some cats are just randy critters. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, just let him go – unless it becomes obsessive there’s probably nothing wrong with it and you might just get a giggle. Check this out:

 

 

So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, there are several other reasons why your neutered cat still humps:

  • Recently neutered cats may still have sex hormones in their system. Typically it takes about 6-12 weeks for these hormones to dissipate.
  • Cats neutered when older may have this ingrained behaviour from when they were intact. Hormone related things like humping and spraying are harder for your cat to give up once they’ve become a habit.
  • Stressful situations like the addition of a new family member or a change in the home may cause your cat to hump as a display of dominance.
  • Not getting enough play time could drive your cat to hump you as a way of using up all that energy.
  • Insecure or attention seeking kitties may resort to humping you to get you to fuss over them.

 

Humping Ahead - My Cat is Humping!Warning Signs

It’s pretty easy to spot when a frisky kitty wants to get jiggy with your limbs:

  • Watch his eyes – if his pupils begin to dilate, it’s likely he wants to shag you.
  • Kneading is normal – but if he starts to get overly excited and knead aggressively, watch out.
  • Being overly affectionate – this is kitty’s idea of flirting with you. Don’t fall for his tricks.

 

No Means NO!

Even though it’s normal and I don’t want to cramp his style, Sparrow’s humping can be pretty annoying…and did I mention he uses his teeth? Ouch. So far he hasn’t hit on any of my friends, but I’d like to put an end to this behaviour before it gets out of hand. Here’s how:

  • Never never ever punish or hit a humping cat (or any other cat, for that matter!). They just don’t learn from this kind of discipline.
  • More play time will give kitty another outlet for his…energy. Let him release it on his favourite toy instead of your leg.
  • Identify and eliminate any stress – humping can sometimes be brought on by anxiety or distress. Rescue Remedy or something similar can be used to help keep your cat cool and calm.
  • Give your him more attention – grooming, petting and generally hanging out are great ways to spend quality time with your cat and show him the love he’s craving.
  • Positive reinforcement – when the love cat starts getting romantic with you, remove him from the situation. Gently pick him up, give him a hug, put him on the floor and tell him NO.
  • Redirect his affections – give your kitty a blanket or a special toy and make that his friend with benefits. When he starts getting humpy with you, set him down and bring out his girlfriend (or boyfriend – we don’t judge here!).Friends With Benefits - Cat is Humping

 

It’s important to be patient as you try these suggestions. With time, plenty of attention and an enriched environment your kitty will return to the sweet, lovable ball of fluff on your lap instead of a maniacal beast trying to ravage you any chance he gets. If repetition does not adjust your cat’s behaviour, a trip to the vet is in order to rule out any medical issues. As an absolute last resort, your vet may be able to prescribe an anti-depressant or something similar but please don’t go down this path unless you’ve tried everything else first.

 

There’s a support group for victims of kitty abuse in the comments below. It’s a safe space for you to share your stories, without fear of judgement…

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43 Comments

  1. OK. I’ll go first. My 15 year old female cat, who was spayed when she was about 9 months, is a humper. A few times a week, regularly. She especially likes “hairy” arms and has been known to hump male friends of ours *at first sight*. She has never displayed this behavior with a blanket or a toy, or heavens, another cat.

    Our friend, who’s a vet, said this just plain doesn’t happen with female cats. She then said “maybe your cat isn’t entirely female”. We now are left with the working assumption that Blanche is a hermaphrodite.

    1. Oh wow. I did read somewhere that female cats sometimes will pin other cats down like they’re trying to hump them, as a show of dominance. It’s how they correct their kitten’s behaviour when they’re acting up…maybe Blanche thinks hairy arms are bad kittens? Maybe she’s decided to go all transgender in her advanced age. This is really odd, thanks for sharing!

      1. Hahah, that’s very funny! I will have to tell my husband your theory about the hairy arms. But she’s been doing this humping her whole life, consistently, since she was young…so my thought is that she might actually be a hermaphrodite. We didn’t get her spayed until she had already gone into heat once (we were poor and in college, but still…if I had a doover I would have done it earlier!)

        1. I’m going to do some research in to this cat hermaphrodite business, I wonder if it’s a thing or if your cat is on her own. Maybe there’s a support group. Maybe your husband should think about shaving his arms…

  2. Hahahaha!
    That definitely brought out some giggles! The pictures in my head were like a cartoon!

    But seriously, I feel for you. My cat loves the wifey and clings to her like you wouldn’t believe. Same story, just as she sits down to read a book, here he comes and has to sit in her lap. Now the humpty dumpty thing I have never seen and in all my years with cats, I have never had the pleasure (wrong term?) of seeing anything like that.

    As for me, well the little guy just loves the head rubs! Only 2 times, that’s it, then he will start biting me, lol. He will come to me typically once or twice a day requesting his two time head rub but it always finishes the same way with me yanking my hand away before he sinks his teeth into it.

    Very nice post and a great source of info for anyone living the life of a victim due to cat abuse!

    Thank you!
    🙂

    1. Thank you! Certainly paints the picture, doesn’t it? I mean, I know the little guy loves me, but this is ridiculous. Your cat sounds much more gentlemanly, even down to keeping you on side while he tries to steal your wife. Not that I’m saying that’s what’s happening, but…they are strange creatures, I’d keep an eye on him if I were you…

    2. I also have a female cat who will try to hump me. I’ve tried finding out what this is, but the internet has no answers for me.

  3. This post made me laugh. In all the years I have owned cats, I have never heard of or seen this behavior. Obviously it happens and I am really happy not to me. Great post. I am a crazy cat lady too…. 🙂

    1. It’s crazy, isn’t it? I’ve never before been harassed by a cat like this either, it’s all very…strange. Then again, I have the king of all strange cats living in my house, so I’m not entirely surprised. Thanks MarieAnne!

  4. Cat fapping. LOL. We have a large stuffed animal who has been donated to the cause and is now community cat property. It’s disturbing and funny and kind of gross.

    The dogs have each other. (Which makes it weird when I refer to them as brothers.)

    Animals are as weird as people.

    Thanks for the hilarious and informative article. It was a pleasure to read.

    1. REALLY disturbing, isn’t it? I mean it’s flattering and all, but…yeah. How large is this stuffed animal? I’m picturing a tiny little cat humping a huge human sized thing, it makes for a hilarious picture in my head. Animals are stranger than people sometimes, I reckon. Thanks for reading!

  5. Funny images here, Shirley! I really like (as always) how you explain an acceptable approach versus and unacceptable approach in the care of our feline friends. It helps to understand what they understand, what they don’t and why they behave in certain ways. Great info, as always! Also the comments on this post are just as hilarious as the post x

    1. Manika-Nia, nice to hear from you again! Yeah, this post turned out to be funnier than I planned and I had nothing to do with that. So many hilarious comments. Thanks for saying hi again 🙂

  6. Ok. This is the first time I heard cat’s humping. LOL. I thought only dogs do this.
    Well, I guess it is the way nature works.

    I agree not to hit a humping cat (or dog). They just need to release the energy. Your solutions are what I did to my late dog. Exercise and more exercise (read: play and more play).

    But.. redirect his affection to a blanket? Does this really solve the problem?

    1. Hey Arief, it’s funny, isn’t it? Sparrow seems to really…like his stuffed Sylvester toy. They kinda look similar, so I guess it’s true love. Strange, but true.

  7. God, help me, but I googled this topic looking for help! I must say this has all been very entertaining to read though. I really, truly have a 3 year old Russian Blue by the name of Tiggr that humps me!! He doesn’t do it to anybody else. He actually isn’t affectionate at all with anyone but me.He has even been known to dive off the bed and not allow my husband entry into the bedroom. He’s 20 lbs. HELP!

  8. My boy loves to do all that humpy stuff. Now thing is, He isnt a lap cat and isnt all that affectionate but does thoroughly enjoy his pats. Its only when night falls and things start calming down that his behaviour changes. Often sitting at my laptop studying or playing games he will sit staring at me until he gets what he wants… pats. Now, when it comes to me being in bed, oh boy thats a different story. First thing he does is hump me. In the morning when i first wake up, he humps me. Guessing this is a potential sign of not having enough affection?

    1. Could be, maybe you smell particularly sexy when you’re in bed? This may not be the forum for that conversation though…

  9. We just had a stray cat show up at our house, and after a week of trying to find his home, we adopted him. This morning I discovered why he might have been disowned. He is the most affectionate toward me that I have ever had a cat be… But today he got TOO affectionate. All my life of owning cats, and this was the first to try to get jiggy with me. Lol. Thanks for the info. Larry is so special, but the humping thing was almost a deal breaker for a minute there.

  10. I’m not quite sure what my cat is doing. He’s a neutered male that was born feral and is now indoor only. He’s extremely bonded to me and doesn’t like other people at all. I’m not sure how old he was when I got him fixed but I’m guessing around 6-9 months and that was two years ago. Within the last 6 months or so he’s started climbing on top of me and kneading me. When he does this he usually sticks his butt in my face (or tries to) so he’s facing away from me. His kneading seems pretty intense but he doesn’t fully extend his claws. The thing is his butt and tail will spasm when he does this which makes me think he’s humping me. He’ll go on for about 5 minutes and then suddenly jump off me. No wet spots or spraying of any sort. The last two times he did this I noticed he did wash himself afterwards. Thoughts?

  11. I have a 1 year old male cat, named Bandit, he is not neutered, needs to be though!!!
    And he is only close to me, he does a really loud, almost sounds like I’m hurting him meow, when he wants to get affectionate, OVERLY affectionate LOL and always goes for my arms to bite like the back of a neck and humps away while kneading me too. Sometimes he will go for the blanket if I’m not having it…..but EVERYONE notices how he is with just mee….I’ve had many cats and this is the first and I’ve been so confused as to whyyy????? Haaaa
    I guess there is no factual reasons as to why this happens??

  12. My cat will get all focused on his kneading and eventually he’ll start humping me. I usually stops and hops down, only to start licking his kitty erection! It’s so odd to me, I’m a human… haha

  13. my unneutered male cat has not just begun humping me and it’s soooooo disturbing i hate it so much. he’s never done this before and i’m quite concerned about him. i think he may be lonely but he sleeps in my room every night and he’s very loved so it doesn’t make sense. i just want him to stop because it makes me really uncomfortable.

  14. I’m on here because my male cat had decided my arm is a prospective mate, your descriptions had me in giggles, but at least now I know it’s not abnormal and I’m doing the right thing just changing the subject with him

    1. Haha I love that “just changing the subject with him”. Really, cats are WEIRD creatures and I’m not sure any of us will ever understand why they do the things they do. Pull the old “not tonight dear, I have a headache” and maybe he’ll leave you alone!

  15. Omgosh. How great! 5 am, cant sleep, wondering why my kitty is a thumper, decided to google it and came across this post.
    I believe it has to do with the ‘feel good moment’ of how the person is making the kitty feel. They attach their emotional connection and that ‘feel good momen’ to the arm. Nothing more nothing less. Plenty of attention and playtime,..no new changes in the household,…maybe a little pent up energy….but this post has put a smile on my face. Some witty people and funny comments from all….
    Glad I am not the only one who has questioned my cat’s habit!?

    1. It’s the weirdest thing, isn’t it? My Sparrow seems to do it for attention, so I guess male tendencies apply to all species. Glad you got a giggle 🙂

      1. Same here! I just googled why is my cat humping my leg not sure if I’d find anything because I didn’t know this was a thing. He’s always been super affectionate with me- my husband gets jealous I think. But this humping just started since we’ve been stuck In the house for weeks social distancing. He (my cat) does not even cuddle with me anymore, just goes straight for my leg. Glad to find advice here!

  16. Omg. I can’t believe I’m even having to google this topic. My almost 1 yr old Intact male torments me. I can’t use the bathroom or go in any room without him attacking me. I’m scared to pet him, because sure enough, here comes the loud meowing, pacing, and me grabbing anything I can to block him. Lord help me. Then he got my mother one day while she was babysitting. Sinking teeth and all In. I have to shew him with a broom or something big to get him to stop. I can’t walk anywhere. I want to love on my boy but not when he goes all crazy. He’s Maine coon mix so he’s quite large. I’ll see be trying the toy theory tomorrow!

  17. I am so glad i found this. My rescue male, whos about 10 months old, just pounced and bounced on my arm while i was laying in bed. Hes not a lap sitter,or cat that likes to be held. Although, if youre sitting on the toiket, he will burst in and want head scritches. I thought he was just being playful. But very soon realized it was a bit more. I have a degree in Wildlife Biology. Specializing in….Wild cats, of all things. I knew it was a normal behavior in the wild kingdom. But witnessing it first..”arm”, with the domestic side of the woods, made me wonder how many cat owners have been the brunt of the feline assault. Lol. This made me giggle. I was not disappointed!

  18. My male cat is 9 years old and was neutered as a kitten. He’s always been a little strange…kneading people’s chests and blowing spit bubbles in their ears…but he’s never humped anyone or anything. Two nights ago the man I’m dating came to my house for the first time and my cat raped his leg, VERY roughly. He then rolled off with his equipment sticking out and his legs spread and licked himself while staring straight at the guy’s face. As his guardian, can I be sued for emotional damage??? Also, have I been cheated on even though the man didn’t exactly consent???

    More importantly, will he do it again tomorrow night???

  19. Omg I am having issues with the my cat Riley I adopted him at the end of April and he was so good likes to follow me purrs all the time when I talk to him or pet him. I gave him lots of attention. But 2 weeks after I got him the humping started. It is worse at night when I am trying to sleep. Had cats all my life and have never seen this. Thanks for your post it has helped me realize I am not alone. I have already been trying some of the things. Nothing g helping much. Will keep trying.

  20. I have a young cat that has been doing the same exact thing. have only had him for about a year and his humping has only been going on for about a month. He’ll climb on my leg, the moment i sit or lay down and it will start off as gently rubbing himself on my leg, like with his head at first. Then he’ll bite my socks and start humping me. And then he starts getting aggressive, biting really hard on my feet, to the point of having marks all over. At first I thought it was kinds weird, but funny. And now it is just really annoying and painful. Not to mention I have 3 other people living in my house and the cat only seems to like doing it to me.

  21. I have two female cats who hump on us when we are asleep. One is 4 and the other is 7 months old. The youngest is super aggressive thou. I’ve never seen such a thing.. Truly concerned for her. We got it on video.. My daughter actually did. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to do. She’s super rough. Seems like she’s in heat constantly too. We have 7 other cats in the home. These two are the only ones. 3 are Nuetered males. I’ve had cats all my adult life.. Never seen this before in any of them. We figured the 4 yr old just was part of her personality. She’s a Maine Coon and totally crazy. But the kitten now.. And alot more aggressive. Lucy is gentle.. Kitten is rough. Idk… Ugg. Could something be wrong with her.?? She isn’t around Lucy when she’s doing it in the middle of the night.. So not monkey See, Monkey do… It’s really concerning me. She isn’t allowing us to pick her up either. ? Any advice would be appreciated.

  22. My neutered male cat just started this behavior. He’s 11 years old. As soon as I sit down, he’s right there doing his thing. If I try to remove him, he get really pissy. I can’t figure out why he would start now. He’s always been an affectionate cat, but not like this.

  23. I’ve had my cat for about 11 years. He’s never done this befote but i got a flat 14 months ago so havent been here much until the last month and he’s started doing this. First wants strokes and purrs. Then he kneads my duvet and throw then starts humping my arm! I guess he missed me.

  24. Super funny, Shirley.

    I’m high-fivin’ y’all for being part of the humpty dumpty club.

    We have a young’n here who whips out his black leather spank-me pants every time we get into bed.

    We rescue cats and we’ve been socializing this one for a week. He just got his b*lls snipped today and I wondered how much longer this nasty-boy behavior will continue.

    That’s how I found your article. Funny as h*ll. So glad I found it.

    Billy is quite insistent and things escalate quickly. I call it his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde switch.

    He’ll be sweet little purring guy and then, BAM, he’s a raging, wild-eyed, meow-crazed lunatic lunging toward the back of my neck. If he can’t reach my neck, he will bite down on my cheek, my hand, my knee, whatever.

    I’m a punctured pin cushion who doesn’t feel 100% safe falling asleep now. And I’m worried he won’t get a home if this continues.

    I’ve got my bandaged fingers crossed that his little visit to the vet will soften the surging hormonal tide.

    Thanks for the information and the laughs while I hide here under the covers.

    Good luck to all of you dealing with the same challenges.

  25. i just adopted a cat from a terrible situation, and he immediately took to me like crazy. he’s incredibly affectionate, and likes to knead and suckle on this blanket i have (that all animals love tbh)- but if i am ever underneath the blanket, lord have mercy. the kneading becomes almost aggressive and he starts doing this weird leg twitchy thing and like rolls from side to side and then bam- cat boner, which he then tries to lick in front of me. it’s kinda nice to know that it’s just an attention thing, and i’m not like asking for it somehow lmaoo

  26. Ok my cat gets aggressive and bites and wants to take off with my arm. He use to hump it. Smh. But i have given him his love sock. But he still wants to take off with my arm. I do take estrogen. Does that have anything to do with it. It’s like he is in love with this one arm. Lol

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