Does My Cat Love Me, Or Is He Trying To Eat Me? Here’s How To Know For Sure

Sparrow Loves - Cat Love

Tell me you haven’t asked yourself at least once “does my cat love me?”, like it’s one of the great mysteries of life. Maybe it is. Good old science has proven
to us that our cats don’t need us, but we’re not talking about need here, we’re talking about want. We’re talking about love.

I once had a cat who moved out on me, which was pretty rude all things considered. She came to me as a feral kitten barely old enough to leave her mother and domesticated into one of the best pets I’ve had, but clearly she had different feelings about me. I loved her and gave her a good life but I guess I just wasn’t ‘the one’.

I only realised she’d moved in with the neighbour down the street because she would sit like a jerk in their front yard and watch me walk past on my way to work every morning. I asked her to come home and she said no. Turns out the neighbour liked having her around so I just let them be together and drowned my sorrows in buckets of ice cream.


Yes…Sometimes Cats Are Jerks

Think about it: if cats were people, they’d be supreme jerks. You know that friend who only contacts you when they want something and ignores you the rest of the time? Human cat.

Here’s the thing – cats are solitary, territorial animals. They don’t form packs like dogs or humans, but they’re not antisocial. It’s just that they can get by fine without your input, thank you very much.Sparrow is a Jerk - Does My Cat Love Me?

Anyone who has woken up with a cat on their head will tell you, they’re not antisocial animals…they just enjoy their alone time more than they enjoy your company. They do enjoy your company, but only on their own terms.


Cats Speak a Different Language

Ok, I’m still upset because Sparrow yells at me all the time but refuses to speak English. Cats are strange creatures who have very different ways of expressing their feelings – the noise is only part of what they’re saying.

Cats don’t talk to each other, their meowing is reserved for their human friends. Secret cat language is made up of ear twitching, head flicking, tail waving and a whole bunch of other subtle body language. If you can get your head around all this you’ll be able to tell when your feline friend is loving on you…and when he’s not.


Learn how to fix the communication breakdown with The Cat Language Bible


How to Tell if Your Cat Loves You

Amongst all of the aloof behaviour, cats like their humans. They just have a strange way of showing it sometimes. Here are a few signs that you have a secret feline admirer:

  • You have a welcome home committee – often accompanied by a welcome home song. Mine starts the moment I park my car and stops…almost never.
  • You have a cat shaped shadow – forget about alone time and definitely forget about privacy. If you can’t even shower without an audience, consider yourself loved. Just don’t expect a standing ovation.
  • Pervy Sparrow - Why Does My Cat Love Me?You feel like you’re constantly being watched – because you are. Kinda creepy, but cats only make direct eye contact with people they really like. And that long slow blink – that’s cat language for ‘I love you’ so blink back and show your kitty that the feeling is mutual.
  • You see your cat’s belly a lot – this is kitty’s most vulnerable, squishy region – the part they like to keep protected from evils. If your cat shows you a lot of belly, he trusts you. A lot.
  • You get presents – basically, your cat thinks you’re a big dumb cat who can’t hunt for herself. Presents are usually gross dead animals, but it’s the thought that counts. Your cat wants to feed you because he cares about you. Just another reason to keep the cat indoors, if you ask me. Toys are much nicer presents.
  • You’re constantly being kneaded like pizza dough – I have a friend who theorises that this is a cat’s way of tenderising you so that your meat isn’t tough when they kill you and eat you. That’s (probably) not true, kneading is what kittens do to their mothers to get the milk flowing so it’s more likely that your cat just loves you like a mother-figure. Clip your cats claws, unless you want love to hurt.
  • Your legs are an obstacle course – that same friend swears that cats weave between our legs hoping to trip us up so that they can tenderise, kill and eat us. Also (probably) not true, your kitty just wants to be close to you.
  • You get little love bites – this is a sign of affection, not a taste test. Trust me, if your cat really wanted to hurt you (or kill you and eat you) he is well equipped to do so.
  • You’re the victim of violent head-butting  – this is not the same as when a human head butts you. Cats do this to get their facial pheromones on you and claim you as their own.
  • You haven’t been slashed to pieces – cats are killing machines, if you’re still alive and in one piece, chances are your cat has decided to let you live because he loves you.
  • Your cat chooses to live with you – not with the neighbour down the street. Yes, I’m still upset about that.


Want to Make Your Cat Love You More?

Look, you can’t make someone fall for you, but as far as cats go it’s pretty easy. Whether you’re aiming for big, squishy love or just a peaceful existence, there are a few little things you can do to make your cat happy and (hopefully) affectionate:

  • Take care of the basics – provide good food, somewhere warm to sleep and a clean litter box every day.Twisted Sparrow - My Cat Loves Me
  • Give your cat your time – they’re a part of your family and they deserve quality time the same as any other member of your family. Make time to play, make time to just hang out and pay attention when your kitty asks for it.
  • Give your cat his space – remember, these are not pack animals, they like their alone time. If your cat wants to hang out by himself in a quiet room, let him. Make sure everyone understands this, especially the kids.
  • Don’t be a jerk – no yelling, screaming, hitting, throwing things or violence of any kind. In fact, if you’re that kind of person, please take your pets to the shelter and put them up for adoption immediately. You don’t deserve them.


Cats show their love for us in many strange and wonderful ways – yes, sometimes love hurts but it’s worth the occasional scratch. If you’re the object of a cat’s affection, consider yourself special – such picky creatures only choose the very best of everything and the humans they choose are no exception.

Do you have a special feline someone in your life? Share your love songs and dedications in the comments below…

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  1. Wow, I absolutely loved your article, the way you have compared cats to humans and also how they differ in showing their affection compared to our usual thinking.

    I don’t have a cat now, but I remember my grandma’s cats. People say that these little cute ones are cold blooded but I have seen their love and know that generic notions are not always true.

    A special feline someone..hmm..not right now, but thinking of someone from the past, here’s what comes to my mind – With or without you (U2).. 😀

    1. Hey Hari, nice to see you back here again. You got that song stuck in my head, I’m going to go sing it at Sparrow…he loves my singing. Thanks for saying hi!

  2. Pretty cool post on cats and how they love you. I like cats a lot but havent had one in years. They say they can be good for your mental health. They don’t expect much just love and a pet and a snack or two. I have had a few cats but they were Calico’s which are pretty independant felines. I did enjoy them a lot though. Great post and informative!

    1. Hi Dave, cats are great for mental health and all kinds of other health as well. Maybe not physical health with all the weapons they carry around with them, but we let them get away with that because they’re so cute. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Really nice and fun article!
    I never had a cat of my own but very often would babysit one or two of my friends’ so I’ve been around them a lot! True, when you don’t know cat’s language it’s hard to tell if they really love you lol One of the cats I used to babysit would drive me crazy..he would be all nice, following me everywhere, sitting on my lap and then as soon as I’d get comfortable he would bite me!! Not super hard bite, but painful enough.
    I think also cat’s breed has a lot to do with how loving they are. What do you think?

    1. Ingrida that cat was loving on you hard! Some kitties just don’t understand how to love bite gently.

      I haven’t had much experience with different breeds, most of my kitties have been farm cats or rescue cats. We did get a bunch of Burmese kittens once, they were all super friendly and pretty sociable like Burmese are supposed to be. I have a friend with a Ragdoll who is just adorable and always up for a good chat whenever I visit.

      Thanks for saying hi!

  4. I knew I had a great relationship with my cat but I’m glad I read this anyways.
    Every morning I wake up to him running out and flopping over on his back. I think his favorite thing ever is the snuggle and scratch before he goes for his morning hike. When I say snuggle I mean, “In my face snuggle with paws around my neck”.

    He greets me every time I come home, and it’s hilarious when he paws at my leg as I walk by.
    When I sit on the couch, he has his spot right next to me on the arm.
    It’s awesome having a good connection with your cat.

    Hope others can have this connection

    1. Yes! That’s what it’s all about! I get the suffocation hugs first thing in the morning, too, it’s the best!

  5. My cat loves me, but only at specific times of the day. She’s sits on me, shoves the laptop out of her way if I’m working purrs flat out and dribbles all over me. When she’s had enough she turns it off like a switch – promptly walks away and ignores till she’s hungry, or she wants a bit more love. I love the independence of cats, they bestow their love as they choose and when they want to. as they say dogs have owners – cats have slaves!

    1. Hi Jayne,

      yep, your cat sounds like a typical cat…I just love their attitudes. It always amazes me how they can go from lovey dovey to completely indifferent in 0 seconds flat. I don t mind being slave to something so cute at all.

  6. Thankyou for your beautiful article, it really made me smile and laugh as I read it. I have two cats of my own. Have had cats all of my life and you got the jerk bit right. The bit about the shower just confirms that my new kitten that I adopted 9 months ago really does love me as she incites on sitting on my toilet seat and watches me until im finished in the shower. Thanks again, Joanne

    1. Hi Joanne, great to have you back here again.

      My little jerk is currently trying to climb onto my laptop as I write this…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks for your lovely comment.

  7. Such an interesting post! Your title actually attracted me to read this post even though I don’t own a cat and know next to nothing about them 🙂

    Some of your criteria on whether your cat loves you made me laugh out loud like your legs being an obstacle course, I can just visualize when that happens. Thanks for the great read, really enjoyed this article!

    1. Moon you shoud definitely get a cat, I think you’d make a great kitty mother! Thanks for stopping in and saying hi.

  8. I spend the weekend at my step-daughter’s house hanging out with her family. My wife and I had a great time, but one of the things we marveled at was their cat. My wife and I don’t own a cat, but we have talked about getting one. Your write up brought up some interesting memories I had as a kid when my family did have a pet cat.

    They really can add some life and atmosphere to a home. I know it’s just a matter of time before one of our friends or relatives puts up a post on Facebook or Google that they have some kittens to give away. I think it will not be too long before my wife and I have a cat or two in the house.

    1. That…is exactly what I like to hear. Cats really need to fire their PR manager, too many people think they’re just scratchy balls of fury. I do hope you and your wife are able to rescue a kitten in need of a home, it sounds like you have a lot of catlove in your heart. Thanks for your comment, TD, I hope to see you around here some more!

  9. Cats are amazing, and they are much smarter than most people think. The cat of a friend of mine who does not like visitors, can bet on people who enter the building to go to another apartment and those who enter the building and who are going to enter the house, in this case the cat is already gone when the guests enter the house 😉
    Great post.

    1. Yeah, cats like things to be their way or no way. Visitors don’t fit in with the way things should be for some cats.

      Thanks for stopping by, David.

  10. I can’t help it, your comment about your cat loves you if he doesn’t move down the street made me laugh. I loved this article. Cats are funny critters but you’ve got all the right points about detecting if they care about your existence or not, lol. I have to remind myself not to get annoyed when our kitty is constantly in my face and all I’m trying to do is work. Affection is definitely all based on *their* choice and heaven forbid you want to pick them up and love on them…usually just get an annoyed attitude. I do believe they think they own you, not the other way around, so I suppose it makes sense. A fun read and informative. Thanks!

    1. It still upsets me, thinking about that. She really was a lovely cat, a beautiful blue Burmese mix. Unrequited love…it hurts. I guess I just have to accept that I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. At least Sparrow can’t get away from me!
      Thanks for saying hi Maria, I hope to see you around here some more.

  11. Awesome information on cats. I am allergic to cats all of the sudden. I had always had a cat and am not sure why I became allergic. I love knowing why they do what they do. It helps me understand them better.

    1. Wow Kelli, that’s weird. Maybe your cat has just started loving you harder recently and there’s more catness in the air. Have a read of this, it might be handy for both of you. I’m glad you’re enjoying my site!

  12. Haha I liked this article. I am a bit of a cat person. The bit where you said that if you’ve boy been hunted by your cat it might be a sign she loves (doesn’t hate?) you reminded me of a book, Cat Out Of Hell. Have you read it?

    1. Hey Joe, I haven’t read that book but I just looked it up – it sounds hilarious, I’m going to give it a shot. Thanks for the tip!

  13. Hi Shirley,

    So glad I read this. Gave me some solid laughs as I definitely think my cat McCoy is trying to eat me sometimes. Now I know it’s just his way of showing some love haha. The part about the shower audience is without a doubt true.

    He always climbs between the shower curtain and liner and just stares. That and his bare belly showing was getting old but I guess I’ll just give it a couple scrubs from now on.

    Since I’m still alive I’m guessing he doesn’t really want to kill me which is good.

    Thanks for the good read,


    1. Hey Dalton, nice to see you again!

      Laughs is what I’m aiming for…and, you know, informative advice, but if you’re laughing while you’re learning stuff my job’s done.

      Sounds like McCoy really loves you – that’s a great name for a cat – the fact that you’re still alive is a good indication. I hope he continues to let you live and you come back and visit us again.

  14. Wow, I really like your article, the way you have compared cats to humans is very interesting. It also makes me reminisce a lot about my own cat or cats that I have encountered at friends’ places. I also got a good kick out of some of the comments since they are very true. Well done!

    1. Thanks Justin, I’m glad you liked it! Gotta admit, I wrote this hoping I’d hear heaps of funny cat stories…so far my evil plan is working…

  15. I’m not a cat fan. If they could be kittens forever then yes. Cats have always seemed stuck up to me. Lol. Your article had me smiling and possibly eating a cat, bu tin the end, I couldn’t imagine mine leaving me for the neighbor….stuck up little felines. Puppy licks for me.

    1. Oh Ms Rebel, you don’t know what you’re missing out on! You can keep your puppy licks, but remember…dogs eat poo. Enjoy that 🙂

  16. Thanks for this very informative and entertaining post. I guess my grandparents cat sort of loves me haha. It’s on and off!
    She doesn’t let anyone touch her belly but she loves to be pet. My brother found her outside as a kitten with her tail severely damaged. It took her a long time to let anyone near her.

    I am intrigued by some of your other posts, as well! Keep up the good work!

  17. Hi there,

    I really loved reading your article!
    I have two beautiful cats, and I’ve always wondered if they love me. I was searching for this answer in the net few weeks ago, and I’ve found an article that says cats don’t like they owner, they just need them and used to them. Well, I am happily surprised to read your opinion about cats feelings:) I am persuaded that my cats love me. I can feel it by the way they look at me:) Also, every time I come back from somewhere, they welcome me.
    However, I don’t see my life without cats:)
    Thank you for this excellent post!

    1. Of course they love you, Daniella…they’ve let you live! I know what you mean, a life without cats would be pretty dull. Thanks for saying hi!

  18. Hahahaha! Probably my favourite article I’ve ever read about cats. I love your humour. Your site is awesome! Definitely sharing this one.

  19. My Birman Girl loves to sit beside me on the couch for hours. Sometimes though she will stand up, put hers paws on my arm and eat my shoulder a few times and then lie down again on the couch. What does this behaviour mean?

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